Why We Forgive

²² Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. ²³ Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. ²⁵ But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. ²⁶ The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ ²⁷ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
²⁸ “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ ²⁹ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet^{a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a]} and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’^{b]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[b]} ³⁰ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. ³¹ So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. ³² Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. ³³ Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ ³⁴ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
³⁵ “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”

(Matt 18:22-35)

Forgiveness is a really tough issue and one that we have to wrestle with every day. The truth is that we don't live in a world where everything is perfect, and we also live in a world where we each have free will to do good and evil. So there are real times when we are hurt by the events in our lives.

What I've noticed here in this passage are some of the following:

Forgiveness is personal: The reason that we feel so free as Christians is that we have been forgiven our transgressions by God. Yes, we have done many terrible things and each sin is in the end a denial of God's ways, but when we come to Christ, our sins are washed away by his shed blood. We no longer face death in eternity, but life. In the same way however, as we begged our King, Jesus Christ for forgiveness, which he then provided - we must also show that same compassion when we are faced with the chance to forgive.

Forgiveness is a personal choice. No one can make that decision for us, but instead we must exercise it by our own volition. Unlike other faiths, Christians believe that forgiveness should be extended regardless of whether or not someone comes to us and asks to be forgiven.

The main motivation for me is that Jesus Christ has absorbed my sins, and I have given my allegiance and Lordship to Christ. My life is not my own any longer, and it is not myself that I represent, but Christ. In the same vein, I do not take offense and judge on my behalf, but instead I defer all judgments to Christ who will judge us during the end-times. In that sense, there is no longer anything for me to take offense over. Everything I am is given to Christ.

Another more personal reason for this is that keeping the offense within ourselves is toxic. If we remain in a state of offense, we will rehearse and re-live our hurts over and over again. Each time we do that, we are stabbing ourselves with the past and killing our joy. The Lord saved us to be free from sin - those that we have committed and those that have been committed against us. We are new creations, and we should not carry around our offenses because they will act as an anchor - keeping us from becoming the person that God is molding us to be.

We are expected to act according to the way God has treated us: Above all else, God is desiring for us to be cleansed of our sins and of the sins of the world. He desires that we should have eternal life with Him. In the same way, we should not be focused on the faults of the people around us, but we should be focused on seeing their souls saved, that they might have eternal life instead of eternal hell.

When we take offense and keep it with us, it prevents us from seeing the deeper roots - that we are here on earth to spread the good news of the gospel above all else. And in doing so, it is natural and logical that we'll be in the world with non-believers - like missionaries.

In those situations, we must seek to be like the Lord and suspend judgment because they are non-believers. We must be lights in the darkness.

In the case of believers, we must confront sins in a specific way as described in Mt 18:15-17.

Forgiveness is not forgetting: While forgiveness entails a measure of letting go of judgement and not holding it against a person, it doesn't mean that we forget what happened. In this example, the King clearly remembered what the hypocritical servant did, and then paid him back according to his actions when the servant did not extend the same type of forgiveness to others.

Unlike Christ, we don't have the power to grant eternal life via forgiveness of sins. However, we do have the power to let go of our judging of a situation and giving it over to Christ. We will not forget someone's actions against us, but we will not let it simmer within us at the same time. That is ultimately what forgiveness is - suspending and giving the ultimate judgment to Christ - and He is a just and perfect judge.

Lord Jesus, thank You for Your gift of life. Thank You for loving us so deeply that You came to die on the cross. We not only have eternal life, but we have freedom and forgiveness from our sins. Likewise, we have given our lives over to You, and as such, we have passed judgment to You as well. Nothing in all creation is hidden from Your sight, and because of that, You can and will judge everyone fairly according to their deeds. We can rest in that and trust in that. Let us then be focused to the people around us. Let us then be ready to pray for our enemies and seek them to know You more and more. In Jesus' name, Amen!