I Learned My Lesson - Tithe, Tithe, Tithe

¹⁰ Bring all the tithes into the storehouse,
That there may be food in My house,
And try Me now in this,”
Says the LORD of hosts,

“ If I will not open for you the windows of heaven
And pour out for you such blessing
That there will not be room enough to receive it.
¹¹ “ And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes,
So that he will not destroy the fruit of your ground,
Nor shall the vine fail to bear fruit for you in the field,”
Says the LORD of host
(Malachi 3:10-11)

This is one of the classic scriptures on tithing - one that is quoted virtually everytime when the concept of tithing is taught.

I have tithed since I became a Christian, a real Christian - one who finally decided to dedicate his life to Christ - back in 1998. At first I didn't know if it was a tithe on the gross or net. There can be fierce debate on this subject, and I used to tithe on the gross (I was told - "do you want God to bless you gross or net?"), but now am at peace to tithe on the net.

In this recession, things for my family have gotten tighter and our budget is pretty challenging, but I also realized that my family had piled on too much debt. In an effort to get it under control, I started reading Dave Ramsey (DR) and he's changed my perspectives about debt and budgeting, so we began to get our act together and thankfully did it before our debts piled too high.

What bugged me though was that I was tithing, but it was part of my monthly credit card bill, so we weren't actually paying it off until a month or two later. It seemed like a joke that I was tithing by adding to my debt rather than tithing out of my savings. The more responsible thing seemed to stop the tithe in order address our debt.

Now, I don't know how I came to rationalize and reason this out. DR even specifically advises that we should tithe 10% of our net paycheck. I suppose a lot of it has to do with the pressures and responsibilities of being a husband and a father. I'm the sole breadwinner and there is a huge responsibility in that. It was a hard, hard decision, however. My wife objected to this from the start, but decided to follow my lead and I charged ahead.

I can't tell you how restless my soul felt - I wouldn't call it guilt because it wasn't like that - it was just a gnawing in my spirit (or a wrestling with the Holy Spirit inside me). I had many conversations with God on my commute to work where I was trying to reason with Him about my choice and decision, but I never came to any kind of definitive peace or conclusion that what I was doing in foregoing the tithe was right.

My paycheck would come in and I would sit there, wanting to tithe, but yet I stuck to my "plan" of trying to pay down my debt.

But as much as I wanted to reserve the money that was to be tithed and pay off debt, more bills would flood in. DR calls them "visits from Murphy". And to be honest, Murphy did visit us before, but not that frequently.

Both of our cars required service - $600 - and the service performed was done, but at the same time I did not receive as good a quality of service as I have experienced in the past. Medical bills came in as I required an ultrasound and MRI which turned out, was my responsibility as it was under my deductible - another $500. Then, as I was backing out at Walmart, a woman decided to do the same on the other end of the aisle at the last minute and we have a fender bender. It was a rental and she has insurance so her rental car company wanted to pin the blame on me. WHAT WAS GOING ON HERE!

Then, I realized. And as I was commiserating under the cumulative stress of this with my wife, I asked her, "Is it because we haven't tithed?" She replied with a non-committal, "hmm...maybe," but had a knowing look in her eye. We agreed to pray about it together using our usual technique for important decisions (more on that at a later time). But, I sat at the dinner table by myself and really had a moment with God. In my soul, I knew that because I stepped outside of God's promises, I had opened myself up to the world's risks. By not tithing and being obedient, I had declared that I wanted to do for myself and by myself - so I limited God's ability to protect in my life. Willfully, I was disobeying part of what God told us to do.

I went online and tithed again a few moments later. The release of that moment is hard to describe. There was such a lifting on my soul and I felt such a deep sense of gladness and joy. Again, it wasn't out of guilt, but it was a sense that I was aligned again with the Lord. Something I had taken from granted.

God's promise in Malachi is not necessarily about blessings where we see increases in our salary left and right as we tithe. It is also about holding back the devourer from eating our fruits. By preventing the regular occurrences of life from coming in and nipping at our savings through even small random, unplanned expenses, he is allowing us to stabilize our lives, save and grow our wealth over time.

As a Pentacostal, I also believe in the works of the Spirit...That there is a tug of war in how we engage our Spirit. Some acts weaken the self and hence Satan's hold on our lives, because when you think about it, sins come from a desire to self gratify (disobedience to God, idolatry, coveting, envy, greed, murder, stealing, fornication). Fasting for instance was cited as something which weakens the demons which are attacking a certain problem (whatever you're fasting for) and thereby enhances prayer. While selfish acts where we seek to simply satiate our desires will take us outside of God's covering if we sin.

In Matt 6:21, Jesus said, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Tithing is the ultimate heart check for a Christian. Can we trust that God will provide by giving up 10% even though we know that we could use that for something that seems necessary? The sacrifice of that for us is purposeful for God because He knows that our Spirits need to be divorced from the reliance on money.

After my experiment in not tithing, I see clearly how much the Lord has done for me via the tithe. Unbeknownst to me, so much over the past 13 years has been held back from entering my life from the Lord's blessing. I got a glimpse of just how that works, and I don't ever want to open myself up to the devourer again.

By the way...am I out of debt yet? As a Dave Ramsey listener would say..."everything except the house." And I know tithing is going to help keep it that way.

Perils of Isolationism

"A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment.

A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart." (Prov 18:1-2)

Our heart - we are told by society to "follow our hearts". It is a common theme. Even Christians sometimes rationalize decisions as a "burning of the heart".

The Lord is really illuminating the wisdom of Jer 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?". This verse really struck me because the world and even the church at times asks us to follow our heart and our desires.

The verses in Proverbs however, shows the foolish effects of doing exactly that type of thing. When a man pulls back from the body and isolates themselves they are primarily stewing in their own intellect and their own ideas of the world. God's Word becomes less and less meaningful and is supplanted by that man's sin nature because unless we work to maintain our faith, our faith will atrophy and backslide. Left unchecked, it will lead to apostasy.

Sin is sometimes (but not necessarily) a key part of this trend. One of my favorite Christian singer-songwriters abruptly left the industry several years ago to my great dismay. I loved her voice, her music and her songs. After effectively disappearing, she has recently resurfaced with a brand new non-Christian album. The reason for this is because she has been in a same sex relationship and has been living isolated from the church. Essentially, she didn't want to follow the scriptures against homosexuality and ceased fighting against this sin. She mentioned that life is better now because she no longer considers homosexuality a sin to be struggled against. She no longer sings most of her old songs - songs which were about Jesus and redemption. In her case, the desires of her heart were more important than following scripture and she has isolated herself from the church and from any contrary advice to her personal opinion.

That is precisely why we need to have the body of Christ. The Word of God is not convenient. It isn't something that is easy to follow and that is precisely why Jesus said that "narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it" (Mt 7:14) Our sin nature rails against the Word. Speaking personally as a man, left unchecked my own desire to fornicate would run rampant. As men, we are tasked to rein in our physical desires by the power of the Holy Spirit. It is not impossible because men do it everyday.

The job of Scripture is to convict us. It is supposed to hurt. Hebrews 4:12 likens Scripture to surgery - it is living and active, sharper than any doubled edged sword it penetrates to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow, it judges the attitudes and thoughts of the heart. The Word judges us and helps us to see our areas of improvement. It humbles us, but at the same time it strengthens us to become better, living a life of goodness.

We are not to run away from the conviction of God. Yes, we might feel bad and it might be difficult to overcome the specific sin that we are prone to commit, but if we isolate ourselves we are only headed down the path of ultimate destruction. We may feel good that the weight of the struggle is done, but we are no longer walking with the Lord. We will turn to find that we are only walking with ourselves - the voices of wisdom from the Lord have been shut out.

There is one perspective shift that is necessary to make however, and personally I realize that it is quite useful. Traditionally, it has been the church's position that we need to focus on the fight against sin, but I think that makes it a negative thought process. It makes it seems as if we are missing out on something. Instead - I believe we are called to walk in God's path. We must choose to forego sin and to follow Him. We are no longer losing the chance to sin, but we are replacing those actions with righteous behavior and the goodness of the Lord's ways. We have not lost, but we have replaced.

Lord Jesus, I never really knew how twisted our thinking is in our modern world. We stand in direct opposition to You because we desire the easy route where we no longer fight our sin natures, but instead cave in to our personal desires. Sometimes it is a struggle, but let us not consume ourselves with our sins, but instead choose to walk in obedience to You. Let us fill our minds with thoughts of goodness and righteousness and let our behaviors match that intention. Help me to replace any sinful desires with Your good ways. In Jesus' name, AMEN.

Staying Single Minded Despite Fear and Uncertainty

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."

(James 1:5-8)

This week, I really feel like there was some spiritual warfare going on between my heart (the flesh) and the Holy Spirit within me. My head knew what was right, but my heart kept pulling my emotions toward fear of the future.

The topic of my angst was centered around my career. For a man, our career becomes an integral part of our identity - and it can threaten our faith because we have the temptation to put our career progress above our relationship with God and family.

Recently, I have had the choice between two jobs. The first was a steady position with a great title and responsibilities, but lousy compensation. Our family would have been eeking out a living, paycheck to paycheck. At the last moment, right before I was going to accept the position, I was offered the chance to work on a long term temp assignment that would wrap in about a year, and offered comp in the range that was comfortable for our needs. But it did not have defined responsibilities.

After some prayer as a family (my wife and I always have to agree in prayer when making a major decision), we felt the temp position was the path God was leading us towards. And so that was the decision we made.

This week, I felt the remorse of the decision and let it stew within me. The situation I'm in is great, but I was fearful. The big thing on my mind is the uncertainty of the future because I don't have defined responsibilities that clearly project growth in my career. What will happen once the contract runs out?

I was eventually prompted by the Holy Spirit to this verse in James above. I knew the choice I made was what was prompted to my wife and I via prayer, but I still let myself fantasize about the path not taken. "What if I had done the other thing? - my career would be so much more defined," I lamented. I was the definition of an unstable man.

As Christians, there are many crossroads that we will come to where we will pray and ask for wisdom. The Lord gives wisdom liberally to all, and in this case, my wife and I agreed independently that God was telling us to take the temp job. When we make that choice to follow God's prompting, we must not be double-minded. We are never promised a perfect path without any warts. Anything in life will have its specific good and bad facets.

Instead, we are to be committed to that which the Lord has told us to do. As long as it lines up with scripture, and we are not sinning against Him (such prompting is to be completely ignored as it doesn't come from God), we need to stay the course until we receive a clear message that the season we are in has ended, and it is time to move on to the next thing God has lined up.

If we are to allow ourselves to be simply driven to and fro by the whims of life, we will not accomplish the work of God. Similarly, if we were to only follow our own desires of the heart, we will never listen to God and we will only accomplish our own narcissistic goals. (Remember: The heart is deceitful above all things - Jer 17:9. We must not trust it!)

Because we have given our lives to God, we must seek to follow the Lord in His path. It won't always be pretty, but it is the place where He desires us to be - and it will lead to the fulfillment of what we have been created for.

Recently I faced a crossroads with two different jobs. God answered my wife and I, giving us His wisdom - and I have chosen to walk His path. That is that. The alternative has faded and is gone. However, the promises, peace and protection of God lie ahead on the way that I am walking now. I don't know why it is better (and sometimes we will never know), but I do know that my path is set before me. As long as I trust in Him, He will make my path straight.

Lord Jesus, forgive me for being double-minded and thank You for leading me to this verse which has calmed my soul. You are Lord of all and are in control over everything, and I don't have to worry or be afraid. Thank You for standing with our family and for always providing us with more than we need. We have not had to take even a dollar of welfare or assistance and yet we have been more than fine. Let us be more and more like You, living wisely - being unmoved, even in the storms. In the name of Jesus Christ, which contains all wisdom - AMEN.

A Personal Message from God

Today I have been awakened at 4am by the most startling metaphoric image of my life, and I believe that the Lord was speaking to my soul.

I was trying to push through a large pile of rubble, but it was as if I had to struggle through it behind a large wall. The wall itself needed to be used to push through the rubble (imagine a bulldozer, but with me as the machine pushing the big bucket in front), but because there was so much of it in front of me the going through was so tough.

Through this exercise, I realized that I felt a fear in the pit of my stomach. People were laughing at me, pointing and mocking. Everyone was, and I felt awful - nervous, unsettled to the point of a cold sweat - all because the world was mocking me.

Then I realized further that the rubble I was pushing through was the mockers of the world, but I couldn't gain any traction while I remained in this fearful state because I was paralyzed against them. And God showed me that more than anything in this world, greater than even the fear of death, I was living in fear of the world's judgment.

I didn't want to be judged, but instead I was living a life where I was afraid to do anything that would incur the mocking of the world - and they (the world) sat eagerly observing me with cynical affections, ready to attack with their judgment which scared me all the more into further paralysis.

I cannot explain the feeling that I felt: panic, desperation, hopelessness beyond hopelessness. In truth I would rather have died than to have to incur any more of this humiliating mocking.

Then God showed me my soul as being made up of various influences and that I was being led by one source who cared deeply about the judgments of the world around me. He is called Pride of Life. Pride of Life counseled continued restraint and complete inaction because he could not bear any negative thoughts from anyone. He wants to continually be favored by the world around him and in order to do that, he'll do anything - even crawl into his own personal shell to avoid engaging anything opposed to the world's opinion.

Having been recognized and outed, I ousted Pride of Life by praying to the Lord, and the Lord took him away from the soul (by grabbing him with a commando team and shoving him into a helicopter - I have been playing "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare"), but my soul still feared.

However, I began to do my duty to the push the wall through the rubble of life, so a smooth path was created behind it (imagine a bulldozer smoothing a rough road) though the effort it took was enormous and the soul still lived in fear of the mockers that it was pushing through.

God reminded my soul to don the armor of God, and after much struggle to remember what that was, I put on the Helmet of Salvation, the Breastplate of Righteousness, the Belt of Truth, the Shoes of Peace, the Shield of Faith, and also the Sword - God's Word. The pains from the mockers lessened considerably with the donning of each item, and my pace in smoothing the rubble in front of me began to increase. It was then that I realized that Jesus Christ pushed with me and I was not alone.

The Lord reminded me that the world is ready to mock and judge me, but in order to walk his path, I must not fall into the trap of the Pride of Life where I seek to avoid offense. Rather, I must be ready to walk through any valley of humiliation as a Christian, for unless I'm ready to do that, no progress will be made because I will be too afraid to do anything for Christ. In fact, the message was even stronger - that I must always be willing to endure any humiliation no matter what that might be - that I must never mind the world's opinion, but instead rely completely on Faith.

For a Christian, Pride is the enemy of Faith because it seeks to kill any movement that isn't completely safe or easy. However, the Christian path isn't an easy one because it is singly reliant on Faith alone despite circumstances. If we let in the Pride of Life to even a small degree, we begin to weak our efforts to follow Christ. At that point, it is an inevitable process where the Pride of Life will increase his influences into our lives, having gained a foothold, and will kill our progress to nil.

So heavy was this burden in my soul that before re-entering sleep, I knew this needed to be recorded so that I will never forget.