Be Content In Marriage And Money

⁴Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. ⁵Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU," ⁶so that we confidently say,
"THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID.
WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?"

(Hebrews 13:4-6)

As I read this passage, I noticed that the Lord is asking us to live with a sense of gratefulness and appreciation for what we have. Along with that spirit of thankfulness, we need to also practice delayed gratification as well.

We live in a fast food, instant gratification world. It is such a luxury that we can jump into our cars and purchase anything under the sun whenever we like with only a piece of plastic instead of carrying around cash. If we want to be entertained, our movies are fed straight to our big screen TVs over high definition (or our everywhere internet connected smartphones). It's an awesome thing - luxuries no one could have even imagined just 20-30 years ago.

As great as these things are, that attitude of instant gratification cannot carry into our married life or our finances. Perhaps more than anywhere else in our lives, God needs to reign in us when it comes to those two things.

I am so glad for my wife. We are such different people and that can lead to great complementary aids, or great disagreements. But through everything, she is a loving support for me through tough times. Marriage has also been the toughest test for me in my entire life. The concept of "two becoming one" seems romantic when you're single, but when actually doing the process in real life, it can also be like surgery. For others, there might also be times when it can seem mundane because you see a person everyday. Either way, staying the course in marriage isn't necessarily easy.

It can seem attractive to bail out and to find someone new in order to rekindle excitement or somehow feel validated or "manly". But, we are called to be pure and loyal in our marriages. It is a sanctioned contract under and before God, where we swear to live our whole lives serving our spouses.

The reward for us is the supernatural miracle of two persons truly functioning as one unit. Each supporting the other in different ways and creating a solid foundation and shelter from which to raise the next generation for Christ. There is deep joy in being able to share one's life with another and to lean on them in times of need. We were made to live in marriage (other than those who are called to be single to serve God fully), and when we are able to live out the journey of life through the journey of marriage, we are fulfilled to the depths of our souls.

Money on the other hand is a trap for us. Money's threat is to replace our sense of security in the Lord with the security of a full bank account. In addition, it feeds our greed to obtain and collect things - focusing on material acquisition rather than the fruits of the Spirit.

Making purchases feels empowering. We are drawn to possession and it makes us feel validated. We judge a person's social status and rank by the type of things they have, where they live, the car they drive, and the clothes they wear. God doesn't judge on any of those things. Not a single one.

It is not wrong to be rich. God desires for us to be successful. But, we cannot worship things and compromise ourselves in order to obtain things. We cannot compromise our faith, or our relationship and assignment from the Lord in order to drive a nice car or live in a nice house. Instead, we know that it is God that is our ultimate provider - not our bank accounts. We need to worship the giver and not the gifts.

Be content with what you have, says the Lord. God knows our characters and when we give our lives over to Him, we are submitting to His provision and His timing. He knows us better than ourselves and knows whether we have the characters to live with more or less. Since money is not a factor in God's success, the level of money in our lives has nothing to do with whether or not God believes in us or loves us. He simply has called us to live with a certain amount of funds.

The world is littered with lives that have been destroyed by the love of money. Relationships, one of the greatest treasures that we can have, are severed by jealousy, envy or greed all rooted in the love of money. While it is necessary to live and function, it is meaningless to God's Kingdom.

Lord Jesus, thank You for reminding me about the power and gift of a pure marriage, and warning me about the dangers of the love of money. One is possibly the greatest treasure during our lives here on Earth, and the other is completely worthless in the whole scheme of things. Thank You for being the provider for our family, helping and encouraging us to grow little by little. At the same time, please protect our marriage and help us to grow more and more into the one unit that lives for You alone. In Jesus' name, AMEN.

Remembering the Lord In Times of Wellness

"But remember me when it is well with you, and please show kindness to me; make mention of me to Pharaoh, and get me out of this house." (Gen 40:14)

"Yet the chief butler did not remember Joseph, but forgot him." (Gen 40:23)

During this set of passages, Joseph has given comfort to the butler of Pharaoh during a short jail stint by interpreting a dream from the Lord in his favor. The butler was supposed to repay this kindness by giving a good word to the Pharaoh to get Joseph out of the prison (he was falsely accused of trying to rape Potiphar's wife.) Instead of remembering Joseph when his interpretation came true, he forgot Joseph's imprisonment as soon as he was freed.

Human nature is like that, isn't it? If we are in trouble or distress, we are overcome with humility and cry out to God to save us. Once, we are placed back in a comfortable position where our worry and terror have abated, we are much less humble and revert back to the way we lived our lives before. I think part of our fallen state after the garden has left us with woefully short term memories, especially when it comes to remembering our worship of the Lord.

My family is still in the washing machine of this recession and it has been a journey of faith. While we certainly did not lead ostentatious lives before, we have learned to live a little leaner as we could to cut back. My wife has become quite a good cook and we certainly eat pretty well, as my stomach can attest.

Our faith too has been renewed. Stepping off the rat race of business for a short time, my soul finally had time to breathe. Genuinely a terrible burden and weight was lifted off and my soul's thirst for the Lord was satiated. The Lord and I have had time to rebuild our relationship. And one of the first things that He did was to rebuild my marriage, which had been showing strain that my wife and I did not notice in the midst of our busy lives. We are so grateful for the Lord in doing that for us. He placed more importance over our marriage than over our material wealth.

Should I ever find my footing in my career again, my challenge in terms of faith will be in remembering and continuing to cultivate my relationship with the Lord when I am busy with the cares and challenges of the world. Ultimately, since the structure of my life and marriage is dependent on the Lord, it will make the difference between success and failure in my life as well.

Why do I say this? Because the Lord straightened out my life in such a way that he took a broken man who felt so alone in this world, and gave him love and wholeness. The Lord truly saved me, gradually righting my destructive path, and then He gave me a wife who also was changed fundamentally by knowing God so much so that her whole personality and life goals were transformed. It is in this changed state that we are compatible with each other. The Lord gives us the kind of blueprint in which our new personalities live in harmony and symbiotically toward a common purpose. Should we ever drift away from the Lord and revert back to our old selves, we would surely disintegrate in our marriage as well. That was part of our problem that the Lord fixed for us during this season.

There are many challenges for us economically, but deep down I believe we will get through this into better days. How we handle better days will be a true test for us in faith, and today's scripture is surely a reminder that we must remember the Lord first in everything. For the butler in Joseph's story, it wasn't a big deal to forget, but for my family, it will mean the difference between a family that grows closer to each other and a family that withers and falls apart.

Lord Jesus, thank You for Your word today. Help me to keep our bonds of communication strong and to have a heart of worship in everything that I do. In doing so, I know that all the pieces of my life will fall into its proper place. You will help me to make it as You deem good and I am so glad to trust You in everything. Thank You for what You've done for our family - we are only together because of You, and it has been the greatest blessing of our lives. To You be all the glory in everything, In Jesus' name, AMEN.

Getting Over Myself

"He must increase, but I must decrease."
(John 3:30 NASB)

These last four years have been pretty rough for me. Tremendously busy with marriage, having a child, and seeing my career excel to new heights. What that busyness did however, is slowly decline my relationship with the Lord to the point where I was doing a lot, but not really abiding in Him. My attitudes became more arrogant because I had money coming in and we could afford what we wanted within reason and prudence. I didn't have to rely on God all that much.

As a married couple, my wife and I became more cynical and judgmental of the people around us. Never to the point of being jerks in public, but in private we would make lots of comments and jokes. We were clearly arrogant and full of ourselves, but never really realized that it was a symptom that we were no longer fully following the Lord with all our hearts.

We moved to a new city because our prayers led us here and we fully knew that God wanted to change our lives - to draw us near to Him and help us to get back to knowing Him again.

Even in coming here however, I was still full of personal arrogance and I believed that I would get a decent job. Not a prime job by any stretch, but something good. Fortunately for me, it hasn't been that easy. It has been a ride full of disappointments left and right.

I say "fortunately" because my wife and I have realized that there is a sense that God is withholding from us. He has effectively pressed "pause" in our lives, and showed us our deficiencies. The first red flag came with the frustrations and tensions of moving here and having disappointments in the job search. We both were tense and full of resentment toward each other. We maintained good parenting, but inside we were short and would make constant sarcastic comments back and forth.

But, a light has come on in both of us. We've fallen to our knees and acknowledged the hidden sins of arrogance that had grown in us. We were putting ourselves in front of God and worrying about our reputations, materialistic desires and pride.

God gave me a newsflash and said, "I don't care about your reputation with the world. Strip yourself bare of needing the approval of people you know, and simply be my servant in whatever I tell you to do." Because I was holding onto my plans, my pride, my reputation, he couldn't grow me at all. I was a plant that was bearing little to no fruit. Certainly, nothing great for His kingdom was being done by me.

But, my desires have all changed. I need to clean my arrogance out, and focus on that. My past, my dreams are nothing. What I have must be appreciated in full, and there is much to praise Him for (especially the joy of being a parent to my daughter, and a husband to my wife). All the junk that I once valued myself for is out the window because it isn't real or eternal. In fact, I have absolutely nothing to feel superior about (Praise God!). When I finally let go, He can use to me to do His work - He must increase, but I must decrease.