Submitting to His Lordship

³⁵ For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it. (Mark 8:35 NKJV)

Within Christendom, there are two types of people who take on the name of Christian. Those who believe in God, and those who have made Jesus Lord of their life. The former tends to exhibit little fruit in their life and often are difficult to distinguish from non-believers. The latter are radically changed in their behavior, attitude, and life path. They are sometimes mocked and ridiculed for their radical faith because it seems unstable, but no one would ever doubt that they are Christians who love Jesus.

In this famous passage above, Jesus clearly commands that we must give up our lives for the sake of the gospel (good news of Christ), or else we will not gain salvation. There is no halfway faith for believers in Christ. If Jesus is Lord, our old lives are dead and lost and we must conform ourselves to His ways with everything that we have.

This is not to say that we don't have jobs, personal lives or possessions. We aren't automatons, but we will be asked to change our lives in ways that we aren't familiar or comfortable with in order to align with Him. Our souls, being "born again", will gladly embrace these changes because they are pushing us toward being authentic with who we are in Christ. There won't be a sense of being forced to conform to God's new shape.

On a personal level, this involves asking myself, "in what ways have I held back on Jesus? Is there anything that He cannot take from me, should He choose?"

I think there is little wonder that Christians who have made Jesus Lord will have phases in their lives where they are stripped bare of the reputation and identity they have with the world. It can come via layoffs, or through big relationship challenges, but in some way our previous reputations in the world that we've held so dear, will be blown up to the point where we are just left as ourselves... naked and bare before the Lord. It is then we will cling to Him and Him alone -- and finally at that point, He can build us up in His image of who we were meant to be. It is then that we will let go of our preconceived notions of who we are, and what we should be, and simply follow Him where He bid us go.

Lord Jesus, I'm not quite sure where You will have me, but I am so glad to have been stripped bare of my previous identity in the world. Frankly, it was wearing me down because it wasn't authentic. I know that You have a greater plan and a greater future than I could create on my own, and I welcome that. Praise Your name in every way. Amen.

Getting Over Myself

"He must increase, but I must decrease."
(John 3:30 NASB)

These last four years have been pretty rough for me. Tremendously busy with marriage, having a child, and seeing my career excel to new heights. What that busyness did however, is slowly decline my relationship with the Lord to the point where I was doing a lot, but not really abiding in Him. My attitudes became more arrogant because I had money coming in and we could afford what we wanted within reason and prudence. I didn't have to rely on God all that much.

As a married couple, my wife and I became more cynical and judgmental of the people around us. Never to the point of being jerks in public, but in private we would make lots of comments and jokes. We were clearly arrogant and full of ourselves, but never really realized that it was a symptom that we were no longer fully following the Lord with all our hearts.

We moved to a new city because our prayers led us here and we fully knew that God wanted to change our lives - to draw us near to Him and help us to get back to knowing Him again.

Even in coming here however, I was still full of personal arrogance and I believed that I would get a decent job. Not a prime job by any stretch, but something good. Fortunately for me, it hasn't been that easy. It has been a ride full of disappointments left and right.

I say "fortunately" because my wife and I have realized that there is a sense that God is withholding from us. He has effectively pressed "pause" in our lives, and showed us our deficiencies. The first red flag came with the frustrations and tensions of moving here and having disappointments in the job search. We both were tense and full of resentment toward each other. We maintained good parenting, but inside we were short and would make constant sarcastic comments back and forth.

But, a light has come on in both of us. We've fallen to our knees and acknowledged the hidden sins of arrogance that had grown in us. We were putting ourselves in front of God and worrying about our reputations, materialistic desires and pride.

God gave me a newsflash and said, "I don't care about your reputation with the world. Strip yourself bare of needing the approval of people you know, and simply be my servant in whatever I tell you to do." Because I was holding onto my plans, my pride, my reputation, he couldn't grow me at all. I was a plant that was bearing little to no fruit. Certainly, nothing great for His kingdom was being done by me.

But, my desires have all changed. I need to clean my arrogance out, and focus on that. My past, my dreams are nothing. What I have must be appreciated in full, and there is much to praise Him for (especially the joy of being a parent to my daughter, and a husband to my wife). All the junk that I once valued myself for is out the window because it isn't real or eternal. In fact, I have absolutely nothing to feel superior about (Praise God!). When I finally let go, He can use to me to do His work - He must increase, but I must decrease.