"And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them." (Romans 1:28-32)
How do we know God? Paul tells us that we know Him intrinsically in our hearts via the power of our own creation as well as the creation that is all around us. The sheer wonderment of the world is our proof and evidence of the invisible attributes of the God we are to worship and obey.
The penalty of the rejection of God - foolish because we are already given ample evidence of His existence - is to be left to a debased mind...wallowing in a list of miserable sins. The picture that Paul provides is of a person who is a selfish sociopath, uncaring of others, narcissistic, and one who enjoy scheming, inventing and doing evil.
It is a stark reminder for me of my life before I gave my life to Christ. Outwardly, I was a normal guy, with a good group of friends and a budding career, but inside I felt so empty. Charity and charitable acts seemed like a waste of time and resources, and I was a bit of a sociopath too.
I knew of God, being blessed to have been forced to attend Sunday School as a kid, but I wanted to live the life that was glamorized on TV. I thought the TV life was the type of life that I should have, and as reality never measured up to the media, I was deeply unhappy.
I remember the day that I decided that my way of living life wasn't working. I remember giving my life over to the Lord. It was the most informal prayer I've ever done. I simply said, "Lord, I am tired of trying to do things my way and failing. I'm going to try it Your way from now on." There were no tears, no fanfare.
And the Lord has been faithful to gently show me that He loved me, that He was real, and gave my heart joy, fullness and the capacity to love.
I know that it can seem like the ways of God seem harsh and restricting. It seems like the freedom to sin is the greatest thing in the world - and like an illicit narcotic, it is fun to sin at first. Everyone is laughing and egging you on. It feels good to be accepted, especially when everyone is participating in the same stuff. But, because the fun is so short-lived and empty, it soon becomes a drag...an addiction that needs to be fed over and over again to feel alive.
The reason I write this today is for myself. I needed to remember my old life and to remember the deep emptiness that came out of that life. I needed to remember how far God has removed me from all that over the past 12 years or so. I am deeply contented today, and I cannot count the blessing that have come my way, in good times and bad.
I needed to remember because life has been hectic recently, and there are times in weak moments that I am tempted by my flesh and wicked heart to remember sinful thoughts. It is easy to see the fun in sin, but difficult to remember the depths of destruction and emptiness it can bring.
I would not trade my life for any other, and I have to remember to be vigilant by recalling how destructive and empty my life was before the Lord...knowing that I never want to go there ever again.
Lord Jesus, You have been so good to me. I cannot conceive of a life that is lived without You. Truly, you have saved me from myself and the life that I lived before. Truly, you have done wonders in my life that I could never repay. Thank You for loving me, Your creation, the way that You do. May I live every moment and second in worship for what You are and all that You have done. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
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